文中词汇表达比较多样,能多用学术词汇就更好了;作者有一定功底,可在平时练习中增加长难句的记忆;上下文衔接稍显不流畅。
We can see that the time the college students spending on computes during a week.In 1990,the time is 2 hours,in 1995,it is 4 hours,and in 2002,it is 14 hours.As above,we can know it clearly that from year to year,the time that we spend on the computer is increased.From 1990 to 1995,the time that the students spend doubled.And then to 2002,it is times than before. How is that happened?The reason why the appearance happened is because:first,the computers are very popular nowadays,and they aren't expensive for the college students buying them.Second,the students can use the Internet to study,and by the Internet they can scan other countries' good part.And the third,now the e-buying is very popular to everyone,and nowadays the students prefer to buy things by Internet than go to the store. The appearance has its negative part.As we all know,the students are always playing games on the Internet,and they will surf the illegal website,and it is harmful to our eyes,too.So I suggested the college students should spend more time on their study,and stay away the illegal website,and they should go outside with their friends to do some sports to keep a healthy body.