2012年6月英语四级作文真题:过度包装的现象

作者学术词汇使用比较准确，词汇表达较丰富，但仍需增加词汇积累；可适当增加从句的使用，注意文中的一些小错误；建议在衔接词汇方面加强积累；可以适当增加副词的使用；连词使用偏少。

In recent years, it have appeared a phenomenon about retirement age. ‘Should retirement age be postponed’, is caused a heated debate. People’s attitudes toward this phenomenon differ sharply. Some people hold the positive view while others are against. One the one hand, some people thinks that it is worth to supporting this policy. In their opinion, the elder takes a essential role in each industry. They can enhance the workforce for our country. We should give a chance for elder make a contribution. On contrast, the others very support the idea. They dose not think mostly elder can sustain the work pressure. They prefer to retire early, and spend more time with their family. From my perspective, I believe it is a wise choice which retirement age can be postponed. People can enjoy good time to a certain age. It is our responsibility that we should create a comfortable future.