作者句法不错,但是文章整体句子稍微偏短;文中词汇较灵活,但要注意积累学术词汇,拼写错误也要注意;衔接成分太少,文章结构欠佳;请注意分段。
As we all know,nothing will succeed without a strong mind.A strong mind is the prerequisite of success.Only when we all have strong minds can we really have the confidence on the way to success.When we look back to the history,we can see that so many people who have already looked up to their callings have something in common.They all have strong minds.For example,we all regard chairman mao as the return of our nation.To be honest,he is respectable.He struggled for our nation,and cut out the bossy class.He took actions to fight against the japanese army and make Jiang jie shi come out of power.He is a hero of our nation.In conclusion,he achieved his calling with a strong mind.The conclusion is also suitable for us students.If we do not study hard,we can never become a knowledgeable person in the future.