有效地采用了多种衔接方法,层次清晰;作者句法知识掌握的错误,可适当增加从句的使用;文中词汇表达灵活性要提高,希望能较熟练地使用学术词汇;请注意分段。
Nowadays, more and more students have opportunities enter their universities what they want,they can rely on their family to afford the expense.But there are also some students having no ideas how to finance the fees of colleges,but they can load the money from banks and no need interest. As for me,my parents can afford my expense of me in the university,so I can have my heart in my study my knowledge.But I will also do some part time job,because it can not only earn some money but also can increase my job experience.