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Today is my birthday, a special day, which deserves to be celebrate happily. As a matter of fact, i don not feel happy today, even feel chilly in bottom of heart. I feel no one really know what i need and what i want, but it is just a tiny dream for me to have a nice experience. What all i want is there could be one who actually cares me and shares very happy time with me. Is that very luxurious? I want to decide a canteen where offers my favourite food and to enjoy a short trip around this city. I just need to have a chance to get away from the daily routine grind and i need a pace where i can release myself completely. I had considered it would come true, but the three days’ experience let me down. It means i feel depressed, because he decided all from his point and let me alone usually, which way beyond my hope. I doubt that whether he could become my ideal husband. I knew he is a good boy, yet what he gives me is not what i really want and he seemed not understand me. With time gone, i recognise my happiness is flowing and left less and less for me. What should i do, i love him, nevertheless i can not imagine that i get together with him in the future. I am afraid that he may neglect my thought and true feelings and become more and more indifferent to me. I will never wonder the taste of the loneliness, since i have been alone for a very long time. A supportive shoulder is all i want. He was my dream, who ever gave me the hope that i would never be alone any more and brought tons of happiness to me. I believed in his words, despite i never trust someone easily. The fear that huge hurt would put on me. What i all can do now is trying mending heart all by myself. Maybe never obtain great hope is the wise approach to protecting myself. I just can believe in myself rather than others.
