作者要注意增加使用学术词汇,单词拼写做的挺好;作者句法知识很棒,适当增加从句的使用,会取得更不错的成绩;文章结构不够严谨,应增加过程性词汇的使用。
When we refer to some places, I’m sure that hometown is no less familiar to us. So today I want to invite you to my hometown---Jieyang. Located in the southeast of Guangdong province, Jieyang is a beautiful city with the laudatory title “The Lotus on Water”. It’s like spring all the year round. Jieyang is not big, not small and it has a history of over 2200years.It is such a pleasant place that we can work and live in that reclining posture. Jieyang city center sings music of its own every day. Its genial various strands of sound of that compose its harmony gradually sink into our mind without our paying conscious heed to them. Jieyang is rich in traveling resources, such as the Jinxian Gate Jieyang Building, Huangqi Mountain, Rongjiang River at Night and the like. Jinxian Gate also called red pavilion, is one of Jieyang landmark building. In the ancient time, only those high-ranking officials had the eligibility to enter the gate. On the Lantern Festival midnight, the deep-toned bell of the hall bronzing the hours is part of our harmony here. Provided that you go into Jieyang Building, it may give you an illusion of being on the palace. In the late afternoon, the sunset of Huangqi looks more charming. As the quiet shadows start to fall .it’s good to walk or drive in the city then, or meet someone at the Rongjiang bank. People enjoy the Rongjiang Night as usual. There is Rongjiang Music Fountain which is the highest and the longest music fountain in our country now. Night in the city is something never to forget. Welcome to Jieyang, I will be your guide as long as you call.