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作者词汇表达较为熟练，学术词汇使用不是很多；文中应增加一些长难句的使用，会为文章添彩；行文稍显不流畅，应增加文中衔接词的使用。
Should College Student Hire Cleaners? Nowadays,It has caused widely discussed that six students who are in one dorm at a university hired a cleaner to clean once a week .Some people approve them ,but I oppose their behavior. firstly,students have any income ,they mainly depend on their parents.the money they pay to the cleaner is an extra and unnecessary cost for them.as a student ,we should do our utmost to cut down unnecessary expenditure . second, college students have enough time to do clean, they are obligated to clean their own dorm rather than depend on others in a word ,we college students should do the things we can do by ourselves.that is what we must go through
