作者词汇基本功不错,建议今后多用学术词汇;可适当增加从句和复杂句使用;行为稍欠流畅,过渡词用的还可以。
For citizens who live in the metropolitan cities, their living quality are decreasing. There are several reasons that account for this situation. In the first place, as the advanced trade and business center, the big city lives millions of citizens, most of whom have a job which usually is quite far away from their apartment and requires daily traveling by transportation means such as vehicles and buses that expel a huge amount polluted gas everyday. Except the polluted air they have to breath, the big population also leads to the heavy traffic. The citizens have to squash in a crowded subway car or wait for a long time during the rush hour on their way to work and their return as well. In the second place, the living cost in big cities is relatively high. The price of real estate is pretty high in metropolitan cities, especially these days. One has to work really hard during his whole life to afford a single apartment. Not to mention the educational cost of his children. Moreover, because of the inflation, the price is still escalating every year. In the third place, people who live in the estates of big cities are feeling insecure of their properties and life safety. So every family has got a security door which has kept the family not only safe from burglar but also isolated from its neighborhood. The children have no friend to play with while the old people stay at home alone everyday. For those who have got a job, the working competition is quite tense. They suffer high pressure, thus often bringing over-time work to home. They don't have much time for recreation. They have to fight for livelihood instead of accompanying their family, their children. To solve the problem of centralization, I suggest people moving to smaller cities where life is simpler, and with the working experience in big cities, they can find another job in small cities easily. For those who don't want to relocate, community activities maybe a solution to their monotonous life. Every estate can hold such activities which are free to its residents to take part in.
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