2012年6月英语四级作文真题:过度包装的现象

句式变化不明显，另外要多多加强从句在文中的比例；请作者增加词汇丰富度，适当增加学术词汇的使用，拼写错误要努力避免；全文结构不够严谨，文中很少使用衔接词和过渡词；连词使用偏少；请提高文章内敛性，段落和句子要围绕主题展开。

At present ,the phenomenon that on excessive packaging get public attention . With the develope of people's manager,we would pay more attention to packaging ,beacuase it apparent our appreciate level . we should spare no effort on save our money.we shouldn't pay too many attention to this .it's our duty to do this.