单词拼写很棒,可考虑增加学术词汇的使用量;作者句法基础不错,可适当增加复杂句的使用;行文稍显不流畅,应增加文中衔接词的使用。
The Day My Classmate Fell Ill As it gets colder and colder,an increasing number of my classmates are catching cold.Some of them just have a sore throat,but others' condition are relatively more serious.Take my deskmate Sarah as an example.Not only did she have a headache,but also she was unable to attend class because she fell in a faint this morning! Instantly,we brought her to the hospital with the help of our teacher.After informing my teacher and parents who thoroughly approved my staying with my deskmate,I looked after her carefully.What our monitor did was phoning me that he would write down the notes with great care,as a consequence,we didn't need to worry about our study anymore.Lately that afternoon,our head teacher came to visit my deskmate with kind of delicious food to assure the nutrient of my deskmate. Only after I have experienced this event do I realize that sometimes we have to depend on others to help solve problems when we suffer from obstacles.Remember that we'd better give our helping hands when someone are in desperate need of help because you will never know when the helps return.