如若增加一些长难句的使用,会为文章添彩;文章词汇表达比较丰富,但学术词汇稍显欠缺,此外拼写检查要重视;层次不清晰,几乎没有使用衔接词;请注意分段。
My name is Li Hua.I am a senior high school coming from Guangzhou city.AS a number of 90-posts,I have to admit that I am not independent.I really depend on my parent or friends.They often told me that I should try to do somgthing by myself.So I want to apply for the job.Althogh the job is without any reward,but I believe that I will gain a valuable experience.In my opinion,only go through this experience,can I realize the improtance of the independent.