建议加强积累过渡词和衔接词的积累,文章结构不严谨;建议平时练习中,多多背诵一些好的句子和文章;文中有较多拼写错误,请作者增加词汇量的积累;连词使用偏少。
No one can hurt you including yourself,and donnot look down upon yourself ,you are the best one .Hold your dream and do hard ,you will make it . Maybe you will whristel and feel horrible ,remerber one thing do you own . Only you breavy and great ,you can look the beautiful one