有效地使用了语句间的衔接成分;简单的使用了一些复杂句,但从句使用不充分;作者词汇表达不够丰富,在单词拼写方面也要继续努力;请注意分段。
My favorite sport Now more and more people began to attention to exercise,i also love sport such as football,basketball,vollyball,and so on.I still remember the first paly football is an accidental opportunity lets you love playing football,find a football in the home on the road, and then to play with friends, and deeply in love with football.From then on i often paly football with my classmates.And my favorite football star is Beckham,the best desire is become a professional football star.I relly love football!