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作者句法知识很棒，适当增加从句的使用，会取得更不错的成绩；作者词汇基础挺好，能灵活使用部分学术词汇，但词汇拼写要再接再厉；层次不清晰，几乎没有使用衔接词。
Should University Students Go in for Business? Due to the recent report,some university students opened six small shops near their university.Their teachers and classmates had different opinions about this phenomenon. Some thought that the students' business experience would help them adapt better to society after graduation, while others held a negative view, saying that running shops might occupy too much of the students' time and energy which should otherwise be devoted to their academic study. In my opinion,I think it's ok. First,in this society,parents cared too much about their children.They keep their children from doing housework or even a little hard work.This apperance make the children have no abality to do anything.So as for the going for business,it is good for them to experience the hard of make a living and understand more about their parents.It is the best way to teach them and give some new thinking to their parents. Second,we have heard a kind of people,they always use up all of their money in a month.These people don't know how to save money and why we should save money.Students are the kind of people who don't need to earn money.So they don't know the importance of the money and the hard to earn money.If they can earn money by themselves,they may cherish their money and build a good habbit to save some money. Finally,university students have a lot of spare time and if they have their own things to do,they can have a more colourful unicersity life.They will face more people in different period.It is good for them to train their ability about communician and make friends.They can know this real world a little earlier than their classmates.It can have a foundation about their future working life. All in all,university students do some business is good for their life.They can undershand better about their parents and know more about this world.It can build a basic about the way to the real world.So for the young people who have dream to do something,just do it and never give up.
