恰当的使用了过渡词和衔接词,衔接手法做的很棒;可适当增加复杂句和从句的使用;文中词汇表达较灵活丰富,不过请检查文章的单词拼写。
Caring olds had been a standing social problem.We are so busy in working that wu have less time to be with my parents.Given for that,our company produced a kind of robot that can be used convunient at home. This robot can cook in time,which can adjust by your need.Besides, chating with olds is the most attractive function,it also can play chess with them and do sports toghther.Most importantly,when some thing occurs,such as olds being ill,the robot can call emergency. If you are interested in this product ,you can buy one for you parents
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