拼写很棒,可适当增加学术词汇的使用;若加强一些复杂句和从句的使用,文章会更棒;文章结构不够严谨,应增加过程性词汇的使用。
Nowadays with the development of the society, the internet is playing a more and more crucial role in our life.But it bought some problem. There are different views about the internet. Some people hold a view that the internet can improve study efficiency, at the same time, their work will become the batter by the internet. But some people believe that teenagers are crazy about the internet,account for teenagers' study become more bad before it. As far as I'm concerned, everything has two sides and the internet is no exception.There is no doubt that the internet is a benefit of people communicate with others, thus storage their friendship. Of course, the internet have some bad news, and we should turn off the bad news. Thus we should use the internet by a right way.I believe that a bright future is waiting for us.