文中词汇表达比较多样,能多用学术词汇就更好了;句法知识很棒,若增加一些从句的使用,文章会更出色;文章结构不够严谨,应增加过程性词汇的使用。
Nowadays with the development of the society, the internet is playing a more and more crucial role in our life.But it bought some problem. There are different views about whether or not to use the internet. Some people hold a view that the internet can improve study efficiency, at the same time, their work through the use the internet to become batter than before. But some people believe that teenagers are crazy about the internet,account for teenagers' study become more bad before it. As far as I'm concerned, everything has two sides and the internet is no exception.There is no doubt that the internet is good for people's communication, thus storage their friendship. Of course, the internet has some bad news, and we should turn off the bad news. Thus we should use the internet by a right way.I believe that a bright future is waiting for us.