简单句型过多,从句使用不熟练;作者词汇量偏少,不过单词拼写方面做的不错;层次不清晰,几乎没有使用衔接词;请注意分段。
My favorite sport Playing football is my favorite hobby. I fall in love with football by chance. One day I found a football on my way to home. I was interested so I paly it with my friends. After that I fell in love with football deeply. I usually play football game and train with my classmates. More and more classmates love football because of me. My favorite football palyer is Beckham. And my greatest desire is to become a professional football player. I think if I work hard, my dream will come true one day.