作者能较熟练、灵活地使用词汇,建议要多使用学术词汇;简单句比重稍微偏高,注意个别句子错误;衔接成分太少,文章结构欠佳。
Dear Editor, I’m a senior high student.More and more students have their own mobile phone.They think using the phone is fiashing,and they think it is easy to talk to their friends and relatives.Yes!Mobile phone sometimes is very convenient,but sometimes it is bad for your study. Now,some students take the phone to the class,so you can often hear phone ringing in the classroom.Some students’ times were wasted by sending short message in the class. The classroom is a place where we need to keep it quiet.So in the classroom,we shouldn't use the phone,we should concentrate on the study. Finally,in order to protect your eyes,please don't play games on the phone!