文中词汇表达较丰富恰当,但学术词汇稍显不足;全文结构较为严谨,应适当增加文中衔接词的使用;适当增加一些从句的使用,会为文章添彩。
football is the kind of sport which i love most. i fell in love with it by chance.it was on my way home that i picked up a ball,i knew little about the small round ball,so,curiously i became to play it with my friends.from that moment on,football has played a important role in my life. in order to improve our skills,we practice football frequently,sometimes we may have games as well. beckham is my favorite player,the reason why i admire him so much is that he's not only handsome but also has superb skill and creative thinking.he's the kind of guy i want to be.this is my biggest dream:to be a professional football player! now i'm trying my best to rechieve my dream.every time i close my eyes,the words that come to mind are"dream big,work hard" so that's what i keep doing.