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增加一些从句的使用，文章会更不错；词汇表达较灵活准确，学术词汇使用过少，另外注意文中个别的拼写错误；全文结构不够严谨，文中很少使用衔接词和过渡词；连词使用偏少。
One Friday on his way home from school, he found a old lady in the old houses seemed very sad. He came there and came around the sad lady. "What is wrong with you?"said Mark. "This old house was my home ten years ago, I love there, but they will disappear in soon." The old lady answered with tears. Mark went home slowly. He was very sad about it. "What made you unhapply?" His mother asked. Mark told all of them to mother. Mother smiled:" It 's doesn't matter. You can draw the old houses, and then give them to the old lady. It could make her happier." "Good idea!" Mark stoped sad to exciting. He do the thing what mother told him. The old lady was very surprise and thankful. Mark fell in love with the place, too.
