文中词汇表达较丰富恰当,学术词汇使用稍显不足;可将文中的简单句转换为长句或者复杂句;文中基本没有过渡词和衔接词,建议增加衔接词汇的积累;请注意分段;连词使用偏少。
Playing football is my favorite. I fell in love with it by chance. One day, I found a football on my way home. ut the little round ball that I began to play it with my friends. From then on, football became part of my train ourselves, and sometimes weove our skills. Among all the football stars, I admire Beckham most. It is not his handsome appearance but his skills that impress me a lot.My greatest dream is to become a professional football player in the future.