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可适当增加从句和复杂句使用；文章词汇使用比较恰当，学术词汇积累不足；文章结构不够严谨，应增加过程性词汇的使用。
In current society,with the popularization of computers and the development of the Internet,online shopping becomes an universal phenomenon in our life. Online shopping has a lot of advantages.On a hand,it is very convenient for us.We don't have to waste a lot of our energy and precious time to go from one shop to another to chosse the goods we like.Consumers can buy almost everything they need through the Internet,and they can search much information about different kinds of goods.Some people think online shopping can make the life colourful.On the other hand,shopping on the Internet is also cheaper to us.We can compare the price among the online shops and then buy the goods with the satisfactory price. However,online shopping,likes other things,has some disadvantages.The first disadvantage is that the consumers can't see the goods or try them on personally.Sometimes,the real goods may not be the same as what they have seen on the Internet.Secondly,we may get cheated sometimes.We have paid the money,but can't get the products we want.Sometimes the products we receive isn't the one we have ordered.Once cheated,we will find that we have nowhere to go to complain.What's more,our personal information may be let out when shopping on the Interent. In a word,shopping on the interner and buying in stores are both important to us in our daily life,Though online shopping is a trend and will be used by more and more people in the future,we should choose the shopping pattern which is suitable for us according to our practical situation.
