建议在衔接词汇方面加强积累;采用了一些简单的从句;作者词汇量偏小,且文章中拼写错误较多;连词使用偏少。
no oan will fail the notact to fact that this is bad idear , bucause it will we very free . in fact , that right . in chaince people thought show money will do not have life . only face with him , do not think every person . my feel very bless , maybe we are only dose not buy something .