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应增加从句和复杂句的使用，注意部分有错误的句子；全文结构较为严谨，应适当增加文中衔接词的使用；部分学术词汇也能熟练使用，但文中有较多拼写错误。
Online shopping has been playing an increasingly important role in our day-to-day life.It has brought a lot of benefits but has created some serious problems as well. There is no deny fact that young people like online shopping more than old peoples.however, just as every cion has two saids, online shopping is not an unexcept it has both advantages and disadvantages. I'm an atended to take some further analyses as followings.Some people attach importance to the merit of brought online shopping,owing to its convenient for our lfe ,we can buy anything what we like stay at home.And online shopping is cheapper than traditional shopping.Yet,there are till some others who make a lot of complains about the nagetivity promoting online shopping ,due to that the quality is not ansure when we shopping the internet, and some retailer are cheat constomer. It is difficit to say that online shopping is good or not it genenral sa it denpends very much on the situation of people think the online shopping is more convenient.
