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拼写做的很棒，学术词汇可适量增加；作者句法知识很棒，适当增加从句的使用，会取得更不错的成绩；文章结构不够严谨，应增加过程性词汇的使用。
The majority of teenagers in poverty crave to get the entrance to the colleges. To realize the goal，they are doing utmost to make full preparations and cherishing the only chance to change their fates. To be frank with you，colleges mean another multiply colorful stages. Fighting heroically four years or three years in campus will be great favors in your lifelong life. First of all，when your get the college entrance certificate，your will leave your parents and learn to be independent. You have to adopt to the new living styles no longer waiting on food and clothes on your hands. The advantage really has exerted positive influences on you. It is as a transmission that you attend colleges and will undergo the complicated society. Secondly，you can master one or more than one kind of specific ability after spending four years in studying. This is the brilliant spot belonging to you which others may look up to you. At the same time，you can cultivate the interests in learning and experience the successive sense of acquiring knowledge. In a word，the colleges will offer you chance to decorate yourself. When you graduate from your college，you will have no regrets.
