恰当的使用了过渡词和衔接词,衔接手法做的很棒;丰富从句的使用,文章会更出色;文中能较熟练地使用一定的学术词汇,但词汇表达多样性不高,拼写检查还需加强;请注意分段。
In fact,More and more plants and animal species were slowed of the ways of fasted.Cause human activities extended to where is area living of animal,and we used be most place,thus ,many people concerned to this problem begining,but i personally didn't guess that human cannot find ways for solusion this problem and just we need sometimes. before one hundred years ,because technology be advanteged .human finded most ways for solusion the problem of life.for example ,most people owned car,house,and many equipment but we forgot my friend that plants and animal,they arounded us and we didn't alone cause them.