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文章词汇表达比较灵活，学术词汇的使用要继续加强；能够熟练使用从句并合理分配；文章结构不够严谨，应增加过程性词汇的使用；请注意分段。
Go shopping on the internet is becoming a fashion now. Go shopping on the windows is a good way to buy things, it is convenient, safety, and it can refuse a lot of time for us. Lots of people especially young people and women,they buy everything through the internet, whatever anywhere. So it's also brings a lot of problems to us. It makes some people don't work when they are during work time, make young people dislike study in their classroom, they only know shopping.What's more, they wasted an amount of money, haven't no money to buy dinner,it's harms to healthy,and will makes people fall ill easier. So, in my opinion,go shopping on the internet have controlled is necessary, we can do it when we are freed but not in working times or study times.
