作者句法知识很棒,适当增加从句的使用,会取得更不错的成绩;文中词汇表达较丰富恰当,学术词汇使用稍显不足;文章结构不够严谨,应增加过程性词汇的使用;请注意分段。
The Accident It is terrible for me to see an accident at 11:20 today. As a witness, I have to say something about this bad event. There was a red car who came from left, which is a wonderful car of "baoma". I like the car very much, but I dont like the driver. The driver ignored the red light above his head and went through the sidewalk quickly. I don't know the red whether speed up or not, while a motorbike came from right. I am sorry that the bad thing happened. The time, I remembered, is 11:20 on my watch.