拼写做的很棒,学术词汇可适量增加;正确句子比例较高,适当增加复杂句的使用,文章会更出色;文章结构不够严谨,应增加过程性词汇的使用。
Internship is necessary for graduation,especially for those who want to work directly after graduation.However,is part-time job worthwhile indeed?The following is illustrating advantages. It is universally accepted that college students possess spare time than almost any period they had.Part-time job fills your spare time.Meanwhile ,you can learn numerous skills from it.Furthermore,it is the first step of getting to know the realities of society.It cultivates your specific personalities. Nuturally, Part-time job isn't a best choice for every college students.It also means dangerous ang harmful.Anyone who isn't able to balance life of studying and working isn't suppose to take part-time job.This real world is abound in danger factors.Part-time job takes your precious time and it pays lesser.Sometimes it leads to low self-esteem. Last ,my heatry advice is never running with crowd.Be yourself.Only pursuit things that you are interested in