拼写做的很棒,学术词汇可适量增加;正确句子比例较高,适当增加复杂句的使用,文章会更出色;文章结构不够严谨,应增加过程性词汇的使用。
Internship is necessary for graduation,especially for those who want to work directly after graduation.However,is part-time job worthwhile indeed?The following is illustrating advantages. It is universally accepted that college students possess spare time than almost any period they had.Part-time job fills your spare time.Meanwhile,you can learn numerous skills from it.Furthermore,it is the first step of getting to know the realities of society.It cultivates your specific personalities. Nuturally,part-time job isn't a best choice for every college students.It also means dangerous ang harmful.Anyone who isn't able to balance life of studying and working isn't suppose to take part-time job.This real world is abound in danger factors.Part-time job takes your precious time and it pays lesser.Sometimes it leads to low self-esteem. Last ,my heatry advice is never running with crowd.Be yourself.Only pursuit things that you are interested in