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作者句法知识很棒，适当增加从句的使用，会取得更不错的成绩；文章词汇表达比较丰富，但学术词汇稍显欠缺，此外拼写检查要重视；文章结构不够严谨，应增加过程性词汇的使用。
The Accident It is terrible for me to see an accident at 11:20 today. As a witness, I have to say something about this bad event. There was a red car who came from left, which is a wonderful car of "baoma". I like the car very much, but I dont like the driver. The driver ignored the red light above his head and went through the sidewalk quickly. I don't know the red whether speed up or not, while a motorbike came from right. I am sorry that the bad thing happened. The time, I remembered, is 11:20 on my watch. People surrouded with them, and the driver and the girl who between in the motorbike was died. These just I know for this accident, I hope it will help you something.
