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文章词汇使用较为恰当灵活，希望能更熟练地使用学术词汇熟练使用了一些长难句；行文稍显不流畅，应增加文中衔接词的使用。
A strong will is important guarantee to success.Those without a will to overcome the difficulties would not able to live up in the desert and natural disasters,as well as the people who break into the unknown place in science.Only those with a strong will in heart can get thought the trouble in their way to success.We may have the same ideas with them at beginning,but we could get there as we give up in ours way. A strong will is the key for Pioneers to achieve their goals.It occurs to me the pioneers who build up the People's Republic of China,such as our President Mao and Premier Zhou,who have a will to save the poor man from dire straits.Not only the Chinese but the foreigners as well are pound of them.They've devoted their lives to keep us safe and stand out in the whole world.From that ,we can easily come to a conclusion that only those man with a strong will could finally completed a great mission. Since a will in heart would have such huge power,we,the future of our motherland,also need a strong to both in study and life.Without the will to get ahead,we would be a man who can never to support our family and government and who would be bullied and humiliated by other nations.What'more, we ought to work hard to be a useful man of the community,and to achieve this ambition,we must have a will to continue to go further in the study and never give in to difficulties. Even we have a will ,we cannot gain anything if we only complain and blame the fate without hard work.A will must be strong enough to help us to be a stanch person.
