Source: Bureau of Labor Statistics, Current Population Survey.
语句间的衔接不是很自然;可适当增加从句的使用;文章词汇表达要更加熟练,希望能更多使用一些学术词汇。
The graph shows that,the higher education degree,the lower unemployment rate. Some people may think that one should get a higher degree to avoid unemployment But I don't think so Because,firstly,if one has good achievement and then gets a degree,he or she will be much easier to succeed in the interview.Secondly,if one hasn't acquired any knowledge,although he or she gets a degree,it's much harder to be employed. Consequently,I think that employment rate does not depend on getting a degree but depends on the achievement acquired in the college.If one wants to be employed he or she should work hard in the school.