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文章词汇表达比较灵活，学术词汇的使用要继续加强；作者句法知识很棒，适当增加从句的使用，会取得更不错的成绩；文章结构不够严谨，应增加过程性词汇的使用。
About the reporter that six students who shared a dorm at a local university hired a cleaner to do laundry and cleaning once a week and each of them paid her 60 Yuan a month.As far as i am concerned,college students shouldn't hire cleaners.We should do the things by purself. On the one hand,students are supposed to develop a good habit in the school.We all know that school is a place that educated us how to become a brilliant person.It's also offered a standard of to be a good human.When we at school,we don't have many things to do,just study and some small chore.If college students do the things by themselves,they will experience the happiness.And then,they will get more compliments from others. On the other hand,college students cann't earned money by themselves,they used the money from their parents.So college students should save the money to reduce the pressure of their parents.Each students should consider for their parents. All in all,college students hire the cleaner is not a wise choice.They should do the thing by themself and learn to independence.
