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文章词汇使用较为恰当灵活，希望能更熟练地使用学术词汇可适当增加从句和复杂句使用；上下文衔接不流畅，文章结构不严谨。
Should College Student Hire Cleaners? Recently, there is a debate about whether college students should hire cleaners among public. A newspaper was reported that six students sharing a dorm hired a cleaner to do laundry and cleaning once a week. Should we college students hire cleaners? As far as I am concerned, it is not a bad idea to hire cleaners to do cleaning. To begin with, hiring a cleaner can make our dormitory clean and tidy. Since we have to stay in our dorm every day, a bright room can provide us with better living condition and protect us from illness. Living in a "dustbin" is harm to our health. What's more, we can spare more time studying after hiring a cleaner. Sometimes, we may have no time cleaning our dorms for that there are a lot of homework to do and club to join. If the dorm can be cleaned by cleaners, we will have much time to do what we want. Finally, it can contribute to the development of the service industry. For instance, in the reporter, each one of the six students will pay the cleaner 60 yuan a month, so that the cleaners can earn money to support their families and promote the service industry. However, every coin has two sides. Despite many advantages of hiring cleaners, we need to pay attention to our money and important things in case of being stolen.
