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学术词汇需要继续积累，单词拼写不错；文章在句法方面做的很棒，从句和复杂句的使用不错；全文结构较为严谨，应适当增加文中衔接词的使用。
Should College Student Hire Cleaners? Recently, there is a debate about whether college students should hire cleaners among the public. A newspaper was reported that six students who shared a dorm hired a cleaner to do laundry and cleaning once a week. Should we college students hire cleaners? As far as I am concerned, it is not an awful idea to hire cleaners to do cleaning. To begin with, hiring a cleaner can make our dormitory clean and tidy. Since we have to stay in our dorms every day, a bright room can provide us with better living condition and protect us from illness. There is no doubt that living in a "dustbin" is harmful to our health. What's more, we can spare more time studying after hiring a cleaner. Sometimes, we may have no time cleaning our dorms for that there are a lot of homework to do and club to join. If the dorm can be cleaned by cleaners, we will have much time to do what we want. Finally, it can contribute to the development of the service industry. For instance, in the reporter, each one of the six students will pay the cleaner 60 yuan a month, so that the cleaners can earn money to support their families and promote the service industry. However, every coin has two sides. Admittedly, despite the fact that hiring cleaners has many advantages, great attention needs to be aroused in case of being stolen.
