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作者能较灵活准确地使用词汇表达，但学术词汇的积累还有很大的空间；若加强一些复杂句和从句的使用，文章会更棒；衔接成分太少，文章结构欠佳；请注意分段。
There has been a heated debate about the effect of pressure from academic studies on us students in college. Some of my fellow students argue that it is not good for us to study under great pressure. Personally I do not agree to this view. My argument is based on the following two aspects. First, no pressure means no progress. With the development of our society, competition among people grows more and more fierce. College students are no exception. They must learn how to deal with future challenges foreseeable. Under proper pressure, each student has to work hard to lay a solid foundation in his or her specialty. Second, no pressure means no self-discipline. In our daily college life, quite a few students idle away their spare time—even some of their academic time. With more academic pressure upon the students, they will cherish their time and have self-restrictions with their study and even self-behavior. In summary, I believe more pressure from academic studies does a great deal of good to us college students. If we put pressure into perspective, we will surely enjoy our campus life more and benefit more from it accordingly.
