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作者句法不错，但是文章整体句子稍微偏短；文中词汇表达较为灵活，学术词汇需要加强，单词拼写要认真；衔接成分太少，文章结构欠佳；可以适当增加副词的使用。
The girl with two bigs in a pubilc service advertising names Su Mingjuan who is the representation of Hope Project. She came to my school to have a report. She said the growing experiences with the help of warm-heart people. If without the helping, she have no chance to continue studying. She said there are still a great amount of children had to give up stduy under the poor condition. I was so moved with tears by her report. What happy lives we have! And lots of children in wealthy family got lots of pocket money. But they spent most of it on junk food, brand clothing and computer games. They feel boring everyday. I suggest that we can save some of our lucky money and give it to these poor children to help them to get a better education.
