作者词汇表达较为熟练,学术词汇使用不是很多;作者应在平时练习中加强复杂句的练习;连接词过少,建议增加衔接词汇的积累;连词使用偏少。
How to improve school safety I'm deeply impressed by the terrible cruel things have taken place over past tow years in the school. Some people was very bad.They thought that our society unequally.So they want to hurt children .It'so terrible.From many tings was cruel so that our government was worried.They thought we will have a security guard to protect campus safety so that children can't be hurt .It's very important. The teacher can work hard for school safety make children study hard .Don't worried.And we can ask for the whole society . It's love and concern that have brought about great changes . Many hands bring light work.Union is strength.