文中词汇表达比较多样,能多用学术词汇就更好了;正确句子比例较高,适当增加复杂句的使用,文章会更出色;连接词过少,建议增加衔接词汇的积累;请注意分段;连词使用偏少。
Welcome to our club There are many activities in our club.Our club is about sports.It births in 2000.There are 245 members in our club.Our club is popular in our school.If you are interested in the sports,please join us.In our club,you can communicate with many classmates and you can learn how to talk about somebody.It holds on the basketball,football,baseball game and so on.If you join us,we will schedule the time to go on sports.If you do everything,you will get a healthy body.You will be strong.If you build up every day,you never go to hospital. Fellow students that meet the requirements and want to join in the sports club.Please call us at 6543210 or sent an email to sports@163com.It can make your university life interesting.