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拼写做的很棒，学术词汇可适量增加；可适当增加复合句和从句的使用；行为稍欠流畅，过渡词用的还可以。
Would Ambition Form a Person’s Destiny? A famous American writer Joseph Epstein holds the view about that ambition can form a person’s destiny. However, I disagree with him because he gives due weight to the role of ambition in our life, but he ignores the fact that ambition alone cannot form a person’s destiny. From my point of view, financial support, perseverance and luck are also playing very important roles in changing a person’s destiny. To begin with, financial support is of the essence to form a person’s destiny. As we all know money is not the most important thing in the world while we can’t do many things without money. For example, if you want to set up a company to raise the life standard, you would have a lot of capital to run it. Otherwise, you can’t set up a company and can’t change your destiny. It obviously shows that financial support is one of the factors to form a person’s destiny. In the second place, perseverance plays a very important role in forming a person’s destiny. In our life, when we ask some successful persons why they can be succeed, most of them would answer that perseverance is one of the factors. For instance, a person has many good situations to start his business, but once he can’t adhere to his business when he meets some problems, the result of it is failure. Thus, I believe that if we decide to do some important thing, merely insist to do rather than give up halfway. Eventually, forming a person’s destiny also needs luck. As is often the case, when many people who have strong capability, compete with others, due to luck, they would fail. Of course, many similar cases happen in our life. A person makes a deal with his partner. When he prepares all the things, and just waits to ship his goods, then the goods disappear during the shipment. It also means that the person isn’t lucky enough. He would lose a lot and what is worse his company may go bankrupt. Then his destiny may change. In a word, as far as I’m concerned, forming a person’s destiny not only needs ambition, but also other different factors contribute to form the person’s destiny. Even though many factors can form our destiny, I believe that all things depend on ourselves, only if can we do it well, our destiny also can be changed.
