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文章词汇表达比较灵活，学术词汇的使用要继续加强；采用了适当的衔接手法，层次清晰；能够使用一些不错的从句；请注意分段。
As the saying goes,success is mother of failure.In our daily life,we are surrounded by success and failure,what is the result of the things we did?Of course either succeed or fail.But there are still many people cannot realize the real meaning,for they always want to be successful.Therefore,they will be worn out for their efforts. As far as I`m concerned,we are supposed to treat the success and the failure.If we succeed,we should continue to deal with other things as well,if we fail,what we should do is that learn from the failure,in order to next success.
