作者词汇表达丰富度要继续提升,学术词汇使用过少;文中衔接词丰富;简单句比重稍微偏高,注意极个别句子错误;请注意分段。
When I was young as a pupil in the six grade as school. I could run only one circle in one time in the playground. But my PE teacher told me I can do it better after training properly. I started running in the early morning. A month later, I could run two circles. This thing told me if I never began to solve the problem it will be a problem at last, Do it right it will be no difficulty in every circumstance.