文中词汇表达比较多样,能多用学术词汇就更好了;如若增加一些长难句的使用,会为文章添彩;全文结构较为严谨;请注意分段。
When I was young as a pupil in six grade in school. I could run only one circle for one time in the playground. But my PE teacher told me I can do it better after training properly. One cold day I started running in the early morning hard. A month later, I could run two circles. This thing told me if I never began to solve the problem it would be a problem at last. Do it right and put more effort into,after that it will be no difficulty in any circumstance.