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拼写很棒，可适当增加学术词汇的使用；可适当增加从句和复杂句使用；行文较为流畅，作者文中过渡词使用的不错。
When I was young as a pupil in sixth grade in my primary school, I could run only a circle at a time for 400 meters. Nevertheless my PE teacher told me that I could do it better to 800 meters after training properly. On a chilling day I started running on an early morning. Afterwards, I could run two circles more at a time already. This thing taught me that if I never began to solve the problem it would be always a problem. Do it properly and put more effort into it, after that it will be no difficulty in any circumstance.
