文中词汇表达比较多样,能多用学术词汇就更好了;可适当增加从句和复杂句使用;文中使用了简单的连接词和过渡词;请注意分段。
Everything won't succeed without a strong will.In ours life we can notice a lot of people those made many devotions and cultures live with a strong will.So,why do they have this?As for myself,I strongly think it's importance to do anything with it,which is a promise to ours,at the same time,only in this way can we finish anything perfectly. Acually,we as students should do that,learning to study hard and becoming an excellent men.