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文章结构清晰，有效地采用了多种衔接方法；句式变化多样；作者能较熟练、灵活地使用词汇，建议要多使用学术词汇。
I think that Lora wants to work part-time for these reasons.first,she can earn some money to buy a new dress,or maybe a bike as she prefers;And second,she really needs to go out and participate in some social activities,of which she lacks in the school;the last one,she can associate with someone and build a friendship during the work. The major reason why Lora's parents don't agree with her,in my opinion,is that they afraid their daughter's safety when she doing something alone in the street,without their guidianship.another reason maybe is,they want she finish her homework first, which the part-time work might hinder. I have some suggestions for Lora:make a considerate and practicable plan,tell her parents to looking for their opinion,I'm sure Lora and her parents will reach a consensus.
