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熟练使用了一些长难句；文章采用了适当的过渡词和衔接词，结构比较严谨；作者能较丰富地使用学术词汇，但词汇量不大，且存在拼写错误。
Obviously,work part-time job can really boarden you horizens,open your thinking,and you can learn to live without parents' careness.What's more,make use of the summer to earn some money is also a good choise enrich your summer vacation. The reason for your parents disagree with you is that the final examination is coming,they want you to concentrate your attention on your study,and get good grades,therefore,you can have a bright future.And in their opinion,work part-time is really tiring for you teenagers.After all,they are your parents and love you very much. In my opinion,you may benefit more from work part-time in society,but the reality is that your academic burden becomes heavier and heavier,you had better balance your study and work,and you are supposed to take care of yourself.Meanwhile,you should sit down and communicate with your parents sincerely to let them understand your motivation,and I believe that they can approve you eventually.
