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学术词汇使用较丰富，拼写做的很棒；过渡词和衔接词使用的比较不错；简单句稍微有点多，可适当增加从句使用。
There is a widespread concern over the issue that do we should go shopping online. But it is well known that the opinion concerning this hot topic varies from person to person. A majority of people think that we should go shopping online. In their views there are two factors contributing to this attitude.All the factors are as follows:in the first place,if we go shopping online,we can save much time.Furthermore, in the second place,it is convenient for us to go shopping online. So it goes without saying that we should go shopping online. People, however, differ in their opinions on this matter. Some people hold the idea that we shouldn't do like that. In their point of view, on the one hand,if we go shopping online,we can't experience the happiness that we can share with our friends. On the other hand,we can't ensure the quality of the goods that we buy on the internet. Therefore, there is no doubt that we should have objection to going shopping online. As far as I am concerned, I firmly support the view that we should go shopping online.It is not only because there are varieties of goods that we can choose, but also because we can save a lot of time with which we can do a variety of things. The more we go shopping online, the more happiness we can get.
